Give me your pie

For this game, I would like to try something new, a cross between an anagram and, well I'm not sure. What you need to do is to pick a movie, book, or famous person quote or whatever and change each word in order. The catch? The word you use as replacement must rhyme with the word being replaced. Sound confusing? That's because I'm trying to explain it. :) So I'll use an example.

Sentence before meddling:
Live free or die

Sentence after meddling:
Give me your pie

Rules:
The new sentence must make sense.
Please use an original sentence that is at least six words long.
The new sentence does not have to do anything with the original. Bonus points if it does.
No slant rhymes. Perfection is required. (But no one is perfect so I'll try not to be too picky.)
No bribes accepted, though I wouldn't mind a pie.
Post the original quote/phrase and then your "translation".

Any questions? May the best person win.

THAR be MUNSTERS!!!

I've just finished reading the first book of the second Heroes of Olympus series, by Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson was the first series). While reading them, I've realized that however fascinating or not their stories are, they have WAY too many monsters, and even more ridiculous names and attributes for them. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to make up a new monster: including name and attributes. Points for ridiculousness, relation to modern life, plays on words, or (pardon my bias here) coolness. Also, as always, extra points for making me laugh. Happy Jousting!