UNRAPTURED

Okay, the Rapture came and went and everyone is still here except that the media can't find the man who predicted it all. Maybe he is hiding because he is embarrassed and disappointed? Maybe he took all that money that his followers were all giving away and bought him an island in Tahiti? Or maybe he was the only one who did get raptured?
At any rate, there are a lot of disappointed people out there who had to go to work today, unless they quit their job. :0s
So your Word Joust assignment is to find just the right word to describe what it feels like to expect to be Raptured, and then find out you weren't.
Here are the rules: You cannot use the word rapture, or any form of it. You cannot use a word that already exists, but you can take parts of words and combine them to make a new word.
As always, extra points for creativity! Good luck.....

Give me your pie

For this game, I would like to try something new, a cross between an anagram and, well I'm not sure. What you need to do is to pick a movie, book, or famous person quote or whatever and change each word in order. The catch? The word you use as replacement must rhyme with the word being replaced. Sound confusing? That's because I'm trying to explain it. :) So I'll use an example.

Sentence before meddling:
Live free or die

Sentence after meddling:
Give me your pie

Rules:
The new sentence must make sense.
Please use an original sentence that is at least six words long.
The new sentence does not have to do anything with the original. Bonus points if it does.
No slant rhymes. Perfection is required. (But no one is perfect so I'll try not to be too picky.)
No bribes accepted, though I wouldn't mind a pie.
Post the original quote/phrase and then your "translation".

Any questions? May the best person win.

THAR be MUNSTERS!!!

I've just finished reading the first book of the second Heroes of Olympus series, by Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson was the first series). While reading them, I've realized that however fascinating or not their stories are, they have WAY too many monsters, and even more ridiculous names and attributes for them. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to make up a new monster: including name and attributes. Points for ridiculousness, relation to modern life, plays on words, or (pardon my bias here) coolness. Also, as always, extra points for making me laugh. Happy Jousting!

POPCORN POPPING ON THE APRICOT TREE

This tree in my backyard is what I see when I look out my office window.  It is so full of blossoms, that when you walk under it, you hear a "humming".  The "humming" is hundreds of bees that are busy sucking the pollen out of all the blossosms.  This reminded me of the children's, "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree".  For our new Word Joust Game, I want you to tell me what YOU see when you look out your window.  Of course we are going for humor and creativity here, so you really don't have to see what you write - more important, just be creative.  If you would like, you can follow the pattern of the song below, or just make up something yourself.  Doesn't have to be in song format.  Happy Jousting!
POPCORN POPPING ON THE APRICOT TREE
I looked out the window and what did I see?
Popcorn popping on the apricot tree.
Spring has brought me such a nice surprise!
Blossoms popping right before my eyes!
I can take an armful and make a treat -
A popcorn ball that will smell so sweet.
It wasn't really so, but it seemed to me,
Popcorn popping on the apricot tree.

Card Writers

Recently I have been frequenting the card aisle at the store. I've bought Valentine's cards, birthday cards, etc. Sometimes I start laughing, and even laugh until I cry. As a follow up to the last game, and our long winter, I would like you to cheer us all up. Your assignment for this game is to choose one of the following pictures and write the text for a card that features the photo. In your entry, please write the letter of the picture you chose to use. You can decide the occasion for the card you make. For example, it could be a birthday card, or a St. Patrick's day card, or a sympathy card, or any other "card occasion". The winner's entry will be featured on this blog as a photo card. :D Don't ask me why I chose all old ladies.... lol I don't know, I just thought they would make good cards. :) Obviously I'm looking for a humorous caption.

CARD A

CARD B (tribute to our ex-governor :)

CARD C

CARD D

MARCHING ORDERS

We can't trust that ground hog to get rid of winter, and the month of February has been somewhat on the nasty side. So your challenge is to bring in March by giving winter its MARCHing orders. Creativity counts for everything!

That's No Excuse!

Tomorrow is Parent / Teacher conferences at our Middle School, with conferences for the High School on Monday (yes, conferences on Valentine's Day!). One of the issues I will deal with on both of these days is students who never turn in their homework! Luckily, I have never had a student use the dog-ate-my-homework excuse. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to come up with THE BEST EXCUSE EVER for not turning in homework. If I have ever heard it, you will be instantly disqualified, so be creative! Bonus points go to excuses that are plausible, believable, yet still amazingly crazy! And I will be docking points for poor spelling, grammar, or punctuation! Happy Jousting!