That's No Excuse!
Tomorrow is Parent / Teacher conferences at our Middle School, with conferences for the High School on Monday (yes, conferences on Valentine's Day!). One of the issues I will deal with on both of these days is students who never turn in their homework! Luckily, I have never had a student use the dog-ate-my-homework excuse. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to come up with THE BEST EXCUSE EVER for not turning in homework. If I have ever heard it, you will be instantly disqualified, so be creative! Bonus points go to excuses that are plausible, believable, yet still amazingly crazy! And I will be docking points for poor spelling, grammar, or punctuation! Happy Jousting!
"My homework was on my laptop AND a flash drive! I was on my way to print it off in the library, and the flash drive fell out of my pocket when I pulled out my phone. It was in the middle of the street. I got across and realized that it had dropped, but right when I was going to retrieve it, a truck ran over it and broke it beyond repair! I went to the bookstore and bought another one. The United Spirit Arena was the shortest way to class, and I had 15 minutes to get it back on a flash drive, print it off, and get to class. I got to the top of three flights of stairs, saw a bench and decided to conserve time but resting and putting the file on the flash drive. Unfortunately, a guy on running the stairs for exercise bumped into me, and my laptop dropped down those three flights of concrete stairs. And that's why I don't have my homework."
ReplyDeleteI finished my homework on schedule, as I always do. I put it neatly in my backpack, and hurried off to school. As I was walking down the street, I saw an Elvis impersonator knocking on my neighbor's door. In my excitement, I thought it was the REAL Elvis! I have read those reports that Elvis really isn't dead, and I was sure this must be him! I ran up and asked him for an autograph. He said he didn't have time to give me his autograph because he had a flight to catch. His friend was going to drive him to the airport. I begged him to give me his autograph, so he said, "Okay, but let's make it quick". I grabbed the first piece of paper that my fingers could find, and a big fat sharpie marker. He quickly gave me his EP, and went in to the house and slammed the door.
ReplyDeleteI was so excited about getting his autograph, that I showed all of my friends. One of them offered to pay me $50 for it! I had kind of wondered if it was the real Elvis, so I agreed to the bargain. It wasn't until after he ran off to show his friends that I realized the autograph was signed on the back of my homework!
I could offer you the $50 in place of my homework, but I lost it on a bet of whether or not you would believe my excuse....
My dog ate it... not my homework, my brain. I'm having trouble knowing who rat blinking goes...
ReplyDeleteThat one was just a joke. The truth, MUCH less ridiculous is this:
ReplyDeleteI had done my homework, grade A stuff, it was completely done and it was tucked away in my safe. See what happened was, a few days ago, I ran into this guy, real tough type, ran with gangs and such. Now when I say ran into, I literally RAN into the guy, knocked him over, see, and he got real mad-like, got his lackeys to come after me. I got away that time, but whilst transferring my extremely well done homework from safe to car, I was seen by the goons. I hopped in the car, locked the doors and tried to drive off, but they cut me off, see, and then I was captured and beat up. Luckily, I was wearing my lucky padded under armer that day, and I was unharmed. The problem was they stole my backpack and tossed me in the street. I only had minutes until class starts, so I ran through ally ways and back streets to get here in time, (see I am extremely punctual, I put attendance first, see.) and that's why you see me now, as tired as I am. You know what, after all that I've been through today, you know, with the whole gang and beating and all, I could maybe use a nap...
I went out to MCDonald's for lunch, and since this class is my first class after lunch, I decided to review the homework I had all ready to turn in. I had no sooner taken it out of my backpack whenI saw a limo with tinted windows pull up outside of McDonald's, and realized some rich person or celebrity was actually coming inside! Men in dark suits got out, and then I saw the President of the United States, Barack Obama, getting out of the limo! He had been to a meeting with Hillary Clinton, and as they left, Bill was waiting for her outside. He told the president about the stops he used to make to McDonald's for lunch, and President Obama decided to try it. He and his bodyguards sat right next to me. Soon he said, "I have an idea to add to my speech for tomorrow night's state of the union address, but I need some paper to take notes on. Anyone got any paper?"
ReplyDeleteOne of the security guards quickly grabbed my homework and gave it to the president, who began taking notes.
I couldn't get it back, IT WAS THE PRESIDENT. But if you could tivo the State of the Union address, you might can grade my home work from the back of the page the President will have in his hand.
Nice excuses. Keep them coming. Of course, Inklings, I'm afraid I will have to ask you to stay after school. You broke two cardinal rules: A) eating at Mickey-D's; and B) actually remaining in a restaurant that would be patronized by Obama.... This could mean sentences on the board.
ReplyDeleteWhen I finished my homework, I was so proud of myself! I had actually done a great job! In fact, it was the greatest piece of homework I had ever done! As I was bringing it to school, I passed a building that was under construction. A large group of people were outside. I realized that they were having a Cornerstone Ceremony. As I inched my way towards the front, I heard the Master of Ceremonies say that they were adding a time capsule to the cornerstone before they sealed it. He asked the audience if anyone had anything really special to add to the time capsule? I KNEW my homework was extra-special, so I raised my hand and held up my homework. The Master of Ceremonies took it and put it inside the time capsule. So unfortunately, I do not have any homework to turn in at this time, but if you'd like to wait around for 50 years when the time capsule is reopened, then you can grade my homework. But I'm telling you, you really don't need to grade it anyway - take my word for it - it was extra-special!
ReplyDeleteEntry #2 - No Homework Excuse:
ReplyDeleteI did such a great job on my homework that I donated it to science.
Okay, it's been a week. I'll give it another day or so. Anyone who wants to get in on this round, you still have your chance. After that, you'll have NO EXCUSE!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I am calling this one. I loved the time capsule idea, and a good action story is always good, and even if he was only an Elvis impersonator, using the King is always good. But even though she invoked the name of He-Who-Should-Not-Have-Been-Elected, I loved the fact that Inklings could have me suffering through a State of the Union address to try to grade her paper. Congrats, Inklings! You're the winner of this round!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to mention that my Elvis idea came because I have a real Elvis impersonator in my neighborhood! lol I have seen him visiting a home around the corner. I don't think he lives here, but I do see him visiting often. Even though I've seen him a couple of times, I always have to do a double take. And actually, I'm not sure if he is a real impersonator, or if he just likes looking like Elvis. lol
ReplyDelete